Stillborn chapter of my life

 The doubts in believing what I thought was happening, kept weighed in the back of my mind, as I tried everything I knew to make the baby inside my body move. Maybe tomorrow he/she won't be so worn out, and will start moving again. Crying myself to sleep, hopefully over nothing, to make tomorrow come faster, so my mind could finally be put to rest.

It had to be my imagination, lighting doesn't strike in the same spot twice, right? (Prior to this pregnancy we had a high risk pregnancy where our daughter had Hypo-plastic Left Heart Syndrome and Turner syndrome) The hospital can put my mind at ease like they always have in the past.

Every inch of my belly gave no sound I longed to hear, the nurse went to get the sonogram machine, returned, and the stillness before my eyes had to still be my imagination. A higher quality sonogram machine was brought in, surely the other just was too old to be able to see the slightest glimmer of hope flickering away deep inside my womb. But to no avail the motionlessness remained in image form before us, confirming my biggest fear.

All pains of delivery came soon after induction began. It shouldn't be like this when you are to bring a motionless baby into this world just to be able to say goodbye forever. No justice in that at all. Though its not really forever we hold on to the promise that someday we will be reunited into heaven with those who lives ended here on earth. 

A little boy was placed on me motionless after he was cleaned up, Seven Months being inside my body, now my journey was ended. my trust in sonogram and echo-cardio gram was pointless. 

My trust should of been more in the Lord, even though I had trusted Him, I think I could have trusted a little more.

I was told I could keep him as long as I needed and I kept him over night. While I slept two hours he rested in the newborn bed motionless. 

I was visited again in the early morning by the lady from choices. She took some pictures for us. Then I got my breakfast and then house keeping came. I was eating by light from the bathroom, and the house keeper shut off the light so I used my cell phone to see my food and I think it helped me choke the hospital food down.

story I wrote when I was younger

Jonathan the bald eagle...and the                                     toupee

                        By 13 yr old Rabeka F 

                                                                     

                         Chapter 1

    Once upon a time, there was a bald eagle. He had no hair. His name was Jonathan the bald eagle. Jonathan was not like the other birds. He just did not have any hair. One day he went to town, when he came across a man his hair fell off when he bent over to pick up his hat. That night Jonathan thought and thought and thought, then he said his hair had fallen off too. The next day he went to town saw a furry thing hanged on a stick. Jonathan flew down and grabbed it, it was too heavy for poor Jonathan. Then Jonathan started to cry. A nice looking lady came out and said "why so sad?" Jonathan said "Well I can't pick up my hair like the man on the street." The lady said "That's not a toupee, that's a mop!" Jonathan felt a little silly then asked "whats a toupee?" the lady giggled a little then said "A toupee is a piece of hair but falls off once in awhile, but people wear them because they are bald like you." then Jonathan said "I will have to get myself a toupee." then paused and said "Where will I find a toupee?" the lady said "you will find in your heart that it really doesn't matter what you look like on the outside it matters who you are on the inside." Jonathan said "What do you mean?" By the time he was finished the nice looking lady was gone.

                                                            Chapter 2 

    That night Jonathan thought about what the lady had said that day. The next day Jonathan went to the hair place sat and watched as people went in bald and came out with hair. When Jonathan pictured him with hair and thought he looked good so he flew down and walked in the owner kicked him out then he thought about the nice looking lady and what she said. He thought long and hard and turned around and went back in. The wonder again threw Jonathan out and said "If you want hair steal it! you don't have any money, so go home!" Then Jonathan went home and thought what "Steal" meant and thought what the nice looking lady said. Then he went to bed. The next morning he went to the place that he meet the nice looking lady. When he got there he had to cry to get her to come so he cried, and when she came out she asked "Whats wrong?" and Jonathan said "I don't know what "steal" means." the nice looking lady then said "If you chose to steal you will pay for it. It means to take something from someone that does not belong to you." Then the nice looking lady was gong. Jonathan went to the hair place and watched then when a man with the perfect toupee for Jonathan walked out. Jonathan flew down and grabbed it and flew away. Jonathan went home and tried it on. Then he thought what the lady said to him before he got kicked out the hair place. Then Jonathan thought about what the lady said to him about stealing. Jonathan thought he could give it back to the man that he "stole" it from.

                                                           Chapter 3        

    The next day Jonathan went into town to return the toupee to the man that he took it from. Soon Jonathan found the man and flew down and put it back, the man got mad at Jonathan and grabbed Jonathan and then Jonathan got scared and he thought about what the lady said about paying for it and then the man through him in a cage and locked it then Jonathan really got scared. The man took the toupee and put it on his head and it looked messy then he started to yell at Jonathan and then grab Jonathan by the neck and was ready to kill Jonathan when the nice looking lady walked in and said "let go of that bird!" and he did, then the man said "He took my toupee and look at it just look at it!" then the lady took out her wallet and pulled out money and said "I'll pay for it if you let him go." Then the man looked at the money and at the and went over to the bird and said "Do you promise that you won't steal anymore?" then Jonathan nod his head and the man said "O.K. but if you don't give me the money after I let the bird go I will shoot him." And the nice looking lady said "I will." then then man open the cage.

                                                            Chapter 4

    Jonathan flew away and the lady gave the greedy man the money then left. Jonathan went to the place that he met the nice looking lady. When he got there the lady was already out Jonathan didn't have to cry. Jonathan said "thank you." and the lady said "did you learn what I meant when I said that you will pay if you steal? and that it is wrong to steal?" Jonathan said "Yes." And the lady said "some people steal but don't get out of trouble as easy as you did some times people don't even get out of trouble." Then Jonathan said "Well I would of been dead if you had not come." Then Jonathan said "Thank you.." and flew away. That night Jonathan could not sleep because he was thinking of how to repay the nice looking lady. Then he had a perfect idea for her. He went to sleep finally. The next day Jonathan went to a open field and grabbed a lot of flowers and went to the place he meet the nice looking lady he sat the flowers on the ground and started to cry to get the nice looking lady to come out and see the flowers she did and she said "why did you get these for me?" Jonathan said "for saving my life." Then the nice looking lady was speechless she started to cry because Jonathan was the first to give her flowers in a long time. She asked him "Will you live with me here?" Jonathan said "I would love to." Then they lived happily ever after.

                            Moral of the story is...

    ...DON'T JUDGE A PERSON OR YOURSELF BY LOOKS, JUDGE THEM OR YOURSELF BY WHO THEY OR WHO YOU ARE ON THE INSIDE. AND DON'T STEAL OR YOU WILL BE IN MORE TROUBLE THAN YOU THINK.

The Cat with owl eyes by 13 yr old me

The cat with owl eyes

 By Rabeka F

    It was a dark and stormy night, and all the cats in the neighborhood were asleep except for the cat with owl eyes. She never sleeps in the night only in the daytime. Her name was the flying cat. Do you know why? She has wings about the size of an eagles wings and claws about the size of a tigers claw and whiskers that reminded everybody of a daddy long legged spider. The thing that she could do that no other cat could do was fly. She liked to catch large rats and put them on peoples houses. The night before Halloween the cat went outside, we followed her, she went down the gutter and she went to hide and she came out with a rat, we watched her and she ran a little and jumped up and flew over the neighbors roof and we went in the street and looked on the top of their roof. There was three rats on the roof. Three days later we went out and looked again and there was 6 rats on the roof. We went back inside and drunk coco. Three days later we went out again and there was 9 rats then 10, 11, 12, 13, 14. 15, 16, 17, 18. We went back in and three days later we went back out again and there was 21 again and again and again and again and again. Finally we went out again and there was 39 on the roof. We were amazed to what we saw right before our eyes. 6 days later there was 45. Three days later 48, 51, 54, 57, 58, 60, 63.

    Three days later 66, 69, 72, 75, 78, 81, 84, 87, 90, 93, 96, 99, 102, 105, 108, 111, 114, 117, 120, 123, 126. 129, 132, 135, 138, 141, 144, 147, 150, 153, 156, 159, 162, 165, 168. Their houses were big humongous  Large By 300 rats on their roof it was covered with rats I mean 300 rats, that's a lot of rats. We went over to the neighbors and asked them about the rats. They said we were going to move because of a funny smell. So they went up and cleaned the roof and gave them to our cat with owl eyes and they lived smelly ever after.

The End